Smiting of the Gods

I awoke just now at exactly 1:10 am, fearful of what will happen the next morning.

You see, how perfect it is, in the midst of this health crisis that has turned my life upside down and that of all my children and especially my wife, that we have to add a little extra just to make it more interesting. I speak, of course, of the Smiting of the Gods.

I mentioned in a previous blog that things, in a rash, suddenly started breaking. En mass. First our freezer got smitten, then our dryer, then both toilets full of poop and absolutely unable to be unplunged, so if there was a number two in our future or our children, it was loading the car up and driving to an Express mart three miles away to do the deed. Luckily, we have a lot of boys who can pee outside like the dog.

Me with dead phone

The Gods were still angry, and our flat screen TV in Angela’s and my bedroom went next – Poof – and for no discernible reason, and why stop there: our internet router, that bulletproof deliverer of fast internet – suddenly turned flakey and lost connection about three times a day, meaning: I had to reboot it as many times. Not huge, but in the kids eyes, howls and, “Dad, the interest isn’t working again.” What could be worse? Still, it has to be replaced.

Well, the toilets were both plugged again, and did I mention I’m glad I have boys, and lets get another plumber in here, which we do, because there’s lots you can fudge and find a work-around and just live with, but not two toilets full of poop and unplungable and unflushable.

The season would not be complete if I didn’t mention that we ran out of heating oil and had no heat for five days. Luckily, the weather isn’t that cold (35 degrees Fahrenheit) and we have space heaters running all over the place, so no one is suffering. Still. We could get an oil delivery now but there’s a $225 extra charge, and they only deliver to Cato on Tuesday, so we can wait.

All this, though, causes another even bigger hardship: I have to get all the documentation and paperwork ready for a NY home energy assistance program named HEAP, and they of course want everything. Birth certificates for everyone, one month pay stubs for everyone who brings a nickle into the house in wages (my kids), etc. It’s hard getting all this together when your brain isn’t broken, torture when it is.

The refrigerator is leaking, but hopefully that’s not a big deal. It will do that mostly in the summer – there’s a trey in the back that fills with water and has to be emptied. Hopefully this being full in winter is not a bad omen.

We still have a land line of sorts with a cordless phone to take calls. Smitten, though that hasn’t worked for a few weeks, so its not a new smiting but still – it had to be taken care of. I just replaced it yesterday.

I seem to be forgetting something. I’m sure I’ll remember it once I publish this blog. That is, if my laptop is working and I am able to hit the Publish Button in WordPress.

What else can break? The sky is the limit. I may stay up all night because, if I fall asleep, I know something will break the next day. I live in fear.

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