Just a general update, as some are asking for it.
Things are going well, and day after day passes in basically the same way: changing scenery from bed to living room\kitchen area and back again, working on simple tasks such as staying hydrated, eating and pooping, listening to music and reading. It is a simple life, and gives a lot of time to think.
Regarding symptoms, they are as severe as ever. When I walk, my brain pushes me in a direction and won’t let me go. Sometimes it’s left, sometimes right and sometimes straight ahead. When all this was just starting, I was in the shower one time and suddenly my brain threw me up against the wall and wouldn’t let me go. I was stuck with my cheekbone grilled into the wall. (After that, I was more careful.) It’s always interesting whether it will be a left day, right day or straight ahead day.
Just moving my head position in bed is monumental. How can I describe it? Dizzy is not even close. When I turn over, it’s as if a third of the stars come crashing out of the heavens to the Earth. So the strategy is simple: don’t change position much. The same goes when I sit out in the living room: look straight ahead, focus, and things are just fine.
It gets worse, though. When I get into bed, my brain cuts out, as if the motors to a drone are cut mid-air, and down I go. Even after I lean back against my pillow, I feel as if I am still falling, falling, falling. I know I am not, but it feels that way. It is sky diving without the risk.
My hand motor movements are worse than before. I can’t put a cup down on the table cleanly. Well, I can but I have to think about it. You shouldn’t have to think about it. I grasp things just fine but am jerky – just a bit. Perhaps others don’t notice it, but I can in my brain.
From all this we can deduce that my brain is really messed up. None of this is really hugely distressing, it’s just weird. It’s also understandable: I have two honkin’ huge tumors – both a inch long and egg-shaped – in a small part of my brain that controls coordination: the cerebellum.
The thing in all this patience. We have to wait, and I’m planning on a month. Just how it is. Until then, happy skydiving!
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Cancer Chronicles 